Confessions of a Love Addict

I don’t think you can plan a life. I became a psychologist by mistake. I had actually planned to be an artist of sorts. Maybe, in some ways, I still am an artist. I hope so. What I do requires the ability to spontaneously respond to each person’s struggles, authentically. That’s surely done best when…

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Taking the plunge into Couple’s Therapy

As they arrive at my consultation room, I usher them to the therapy couch. It is just wide enough for them to sit comfortably apart but not wide enough for them to avoid each other.  If she wanted she could simply turn the other way and look through my books on the bookshelf, while he reads…

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Relationships are Therapy: Part4 #Love and its disappointments.

  I can clearly remember her sitting there, perched like a ballerina on the edge of a saffron cushion. So poised, so elegant. Listening with great attention to what the meditation teacher (Rob Nairn) had to say.  She was oblivious to me sitting there, tracing her every move and contour. She looked so elegant, exotic…

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Relationships are Therapy: Part 3 #Boundaries & Vulnerability

“I think you’re very fluid with your boundaries!” That’s what my last therapist told me, his eyes following mine as I tried to look away, him steadily patting the miniature pinscher on his lap.   At first I wanted to take it as a compliment but the emphasis on “very” made me realise that he actually…

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Never mind global warming, what about love?

Never mind global warming.  There is a far more immediate crisis.  Bald eagles, striped hyenas, snow geese and the rest of their monogamous counterparts are growing increasingly disillusioned by human attempts at paired breeding.  What they don’t realise is that us humans have a tendency to gravely overcomplicate our lives with grand utopian ideals.  The…

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