Relationships are Therapy: Part4 #Love and its disappointments.

  I can clearly remember her sitting there, perched like a ballerina on the edge of a saffron cushion. So poised, so elegant. Listening with great attention to what the meditation teacher (Rob Nairn) had to say.  She was oblivious to me sitting there, tracing her every move and contour. She looked so elegant, exotic…

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Relationships are Therapy: Part 3 #Boundaries & Vulnerability

“I think you’re very fluid with your boundaries!” That’s what my last therapist told me, his eyes following mine as I tried to look away, him steadily patting the miniature pinscher on his lap.   At first I wanted to take it as a compliment but the emphasis on “very” made me realise that he actually…

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Relationships are Therapy: Part2 #Accountability

    My father gassed himself in his car one night. I only found out the following morning but I knew exactly how he did it. I knew because the first time he tried it I must have been only 10 years old. He had left the house in a tantrum that night and, by…

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Relationships are Therapy: Part 1 #Honesty

I don’t write because I am good at it. I find writing particularly difficult. I write because it helps me make sense of things and, in that case, I don’t write nearly enough. If there was one thing that is challenging to make sense of in psychotherapy, it is the complexities of intimate relationships. So…

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#Addiction: The hidden risk of Porn

There was a time when, if you wanted to get your hands on an x-rated video or magazine, you would have to physically go out and buy it. You would have to wait anxiously while the cashier quickly shoved it into a brown paper bag. Rush home and hope that no one would notice the…

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