• Addiction,  Post-modern Therapy,  Relationships,  Uncategorized,  What is Therapy

    Confessions of a Love Addict

    I don’t think you can plan a life. I became a psychologist by mistake. I had actually planned to be an artist of sorts. Maybe, in some ways, I still am an artist. I hope so. What I do requires the ability to spontaneously respond to each person’s struggles, authentically. That’s surely done best when seen as an art form? But, for the most part, it has been a wonderful mistake. One that has taken me on curious adventures through the pain and joy of what it means to be human. My latest curiosity is in addiction.   What does it mean to be an addict? What if, each and…

  • Post-modern Therapy,  Sexual Health,  What is Therapy

    Entering the lived reality of Sexual Abuse

    When clients first call to make an appointment, it is impossible to summarise an answer to “What therapy do you do?” You can never actually tell what journey lies ahead of them or I. I can, however, remember the first call that Claudia made to enquire about therapy. I can’t recall her exact words but they sounded almost rehearsed, attempting to hide the quiver in her voice. It was only much later that I learned just how giant a leap of blind faith she had taken on that day. Although, in theory, all clients should be treated with the same brush of attention and concern, you are sometimes deeply drawn…

  • Post-modern Therapy,  Uncategorized


    From time to time I work with someone who, at some point, introduces into our conversation a concern for the fact that they harbour a secret urge to cut.  This is a habit that is very poorly understood by the general public.  In my experience, it is mostly not a “death-wish” as some might interpret.  It is also underestimated just how “therapeutic” these thin cut-lines can be for the person at the time.  The lure of cutting seems to lie in its ability to bring inner turmoil to a momentary end.  I am very interested in getting people out there, who have had personal experience with resisting this lure, to…

  • Post-modern Therapy,  Uncategorized

    The Art of Procrastination

    The Sullen Art of Procrastination | The Tao of Fear Procrastination said: In sum, the method of doing things perfectly is— If you try and do not succeed Fear trying ever again. If you try and only partially succeed Fear that failure over again. If you try and you succeed Fear achieving this once again. Therefore, trying, at all, is a futile endeavour

  • Post-modern Therapy,  Uncategorized


    I came across a curious word the other day–credicide. The death of belief. Not this or that one but all and every. Strictly speaking, of course, it means the active killing of belief rather than just its simple demise. Some dark agent has been out mugging belief in the night, jumping it, slicing it up while our eyes were turned to see what the arc lights of the media were bringing us this time. What is dying of course is not just Progress, Education, Science, Justice, or God–though all these do look anaemic shadows of their former selves. What is dying is the House of Belief itself. Down in the…

  • Post-modern Therapy,  Relationships,  Uncategorized

    my fetish

    I must confess of my chief fetish: I cannot resist the impulse to buy books.  The inclination to read them seldom lasts and if it does, I seldom find the time or patience to read them in their entirety, but despite this rational voice in my head, a book with an appealing title will call to me from its crowded space on a book-sale table.  It will lure me with promises to improve my intelligence, make me a better person or at the very least entertain me.  Not to take it home would mean that I was choosing to be less than I could be.  Usually, following a brief struggle…